What does it mean to reinvent yourself? Does it mean taking on a whole new persona ? Or Changing your personality completely ? Maybe to reinvent oneself is to simply change your hair color ! That’s one reinvention I can manage! Lol! But as I’ve been quietly contemplating my move to Boquete I wonder how it will change me as a person, if at all. Yes, I do believe changes will naturally take place but will I reinvent myself? This, I’m not so sure about. I’m not sure that I have a list of personality changes that I am striving to reinvent ( not that I don’t have aspects of myself I will always continue to improve or change, naturally) , mostly, I think, my ‘lifestyle’ is what I hope to reinvent.
I expect to experience a very different way of living my day to day life. Many things that are a part of what I know will be different. Some aspects of this change I expect I will quite enjoy. And other changes may be difficult to adjust to. But will I change as a person, how will I be different? Possibly more patient? More accepting? I may learn to let go of expectations( I’m working on this as we speak!), especially given the fact that I won’t really know what to expect much of the time, in the beginning anyways. Scott and I agree that we hope to create a much more simple, peaceful life. Although how we define, more simple and peaceful has yet to be determined. Obviously relieving ourselves of the intense level of financial responsibility will surely create a much more peaceful existence!
Maybe the term ‘reinvent’ is a bit extreme for my liking. I suppose it’s my hope to evolve and grow into a less materialistic , person. (Although, is it materialistic to love my iPad ? Cuz, I don’t really see that part of me changing or evolving all that much! 😁). I think my house , where I call ‘Home’, will always be very important to me. But I’m really hoping that without the pressure to work so hard to make lots of money to be able to live my life comfortably (paying a Huge mortgage !) will open me up to aspects of pleasures that I don’t get to embrace in this current lifestyle . I’m looking forward to having a life-focus that centers on people and experiences and the beauty and wonder around me as opposed to the focus of so many financial obligations that currently weigh both Scott and me down . Does this equate to a reinvention of myself? Hmmmmm! I think it’s more reinventing my LIFE, but maybe not completely my self. I can see how this life change could naturally be a catalyst to changes within myself that I haven’t even thought of. Time will tell.
In our current life here in the Silicon Valley, by the time the weekend comes around we are both usually so spent from our work week that we have very little energy left for enjoying people and activities that bring us joy. It makes me sad to think of the things that have become priorities , and the missed opportunities to connect with people we enjoy . Everyone seems to get so caught up in being sooooooooo ‘BUSY’ that relationships take a backseat way more often than they ought to. I really hope this part of my life changes. I don’t like living this way. I have been questioning my priorities and wondering how we all got ourselves so bogged down with so much busy, busy, craziness? I suppose some would say that it’s a lifestyle choice, and there’s no arguing about that. In order to have a nice car, own a house, go out to expensive meals, buy lots and lots of clothes and jewelry and furnish that home with impressive ‘stuff’, pay the house keeper and the gardener, go on vacations, be a member of a gym, buy more and more stuff……. One must work really hard to make enough of that green stuff to be able to have it all! Sooooooo it seems the phrase I so often hear coming out of everyone’s mouth,( mine included!), is ” Sorry, I’m just too busy!”. Nope, can’t come over for a spontaneous gathering, too busy, go kayaking on my day off?? No time!, A hike ? A lunch? A long weekend camping!!! Nooooo wayyyy! Much too busy! Fun with friends or family just doesn’t make the top priority list for those of us that are so focused on work, work, work.
I don’t want to live a life where people and experiences are last on my list and the list of everyone else . And yes, that means I must leave this place and create a life that’s different. We will very likely have less impressive ‘stuff’. And we may find ourselves living in a house that’s comfortable but not impressive( aside from my closet! ). As a matter of fact,( aside from my amazing iPad), I’m hoping that ‘ who’ we are, is what stands out most to the people we get to know in our new home.
As I ponder this perplexing lifestyle that I find myself so deeply entrenched in, I begin to realize that it’s more than just my lifestyle . It’s a culture. It’s a culture of commercialism and of materialism. This is not a new revelation to me. It’s an aspect of life here in the states that most people likely enjoy . As have I . I have mentioned my love of my Apple products and my Heavenly Closet. After all, one must have much materialistic accumulation in order to fill that heavenly closet, right? I’m well aware of my own dependence on accumulating stuff. I guess my conflict with all this is the price I see myself paying for this lifestyle of more, bigger, better! I’m tired of being so tired all the time. Tired of being so concerned about making enough money to afford everything! House, property taxes, income taxes, insurance, water, garbage PG&E, AT&T, cable tv,food, gas , car, car insurance, medical insurance, gardener, and on and on and on! There must be a better way to balance our life. That better way , we hope to find in a place where the culture is just different. I’m sure it won’t be all better , there is no perfect place, but Im looking forward to experiencing something different. In finding a different focus.
I suspect there are folks who have been able to successfully refocus their lifestyle choices without leaving their country of origin. While I admire this ability to create such an immense and admirable lifestyle change without uprooting yourself to a completely different country, my path is much different. To change our focus and choose to create such a different lifestyle to what currently surrounds us requires, for us anyways, a major relocation. And to reinvent how we choose to live our lives. Certainly not a common approach to making a lifestyle change, but for us, it’s the way to go! And GO we shall.😘.