Starting Over

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I’ve noticed while following many seasoned bloggers that WordPress often puts out these weekly challenges, either photo challenges or writing challenges. I really enjoy reading them and in the back of my mind I’ve often thought,” Someday maybe I’ll try it!”. Well, why not now? I mean, when I saw what the subject of this weeks writing challenge was, I just knew it was time to dive in! The subject is , are you ready for this?… STARTING OVER! Sheesh! I got this one, here’ goes……

At first, I thought the subject of this weeks writing challenge would be an easy one for me to write about. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how to approach the subject of starting over and I keep ‘starting over’, again and again! I Don’t think those wise folks at WordPress had that in mind when they suggested the subject of starting over! Boy, do I respond to suggestions ‘ literally’ or what!

When I think of starting over what first comes to my mind of course is my move from California to Boquete , Panama. That’s definitely a new start in many ways. Then I began to think about all the many ways I have had ‘Starting Over’ moments in my life. Maybe not as extreme as the one I’m preparing to embark upon, but some have been even more fraught with emotion. Many of the ‘Starting Over’ experiences in my life have been unexpected, surprising and often unwanted. Many have been the result of other peoples life decisions that effected a particular direction of my life . I can think of many such ‘New Starts’ that at the time, bewildered me and required me to be strong and often brave and figure out how I would carry on. After all, isn’t that just how life tumbles along at times? One of the unavoidable aspects of life and of letting ourselves love and care about people is that we occasionally get hurt by decisions others make in their lives.

Although getting hurt by people we love or care about is just a small part of the deal, the bigger part is what you decide to do with that hurt, or disappointment or loss. This is the period of time when multiple paths appear before us and we get to choose just how to start over. Some of those paths are more productive than others and if we are paying attention , and living our lives with intention, this is when true and genuine personal growth can occur . All of us have experienced these types of crossroads from time to time . For me, the sound of tires screeching to a halt, comes to mind when I think of starting over. In order to start over one must first stop or pause to begin again. There is an end before there is a new beginning. A letting go of sorts, then a grasping of something new, a new possibility. Too many of my starting over experiences seem to have been initiated by someone other than myself. Big life changes that seemed to have, ‘taken place’, in my life have felt exactly like that, like they have,’TAKEN PLACE’, or happened. Often without a lot of purposeful intention on my part. I’m not saying that I’ve been a victim of my life and of the changes that have occurred. I’m just contemplating the idea that I feel as though I’ve ‘reacted’ to life on more occasions than not, rather than implementing a new start that I chose. I think on many occasions I have been ‘Reactive’, rather than,’Proactive’. In spite of that, I must say, I’m proud of the way I’ve chosen to learn and grow from my experiences this far in my life. I’ve become stronger and more determined to stand firm in who I am as a result of my choices, respecting myself more and striving to truly know who I am. I’m continually learning from life and from people in my life. Starting over , in my mind, brings great opportunities for personal growth and it’s something I hope to always embrace.

My current ‘Starting Over’ experience is very special to me because I feel like it’s a new beginning that I ‘Own’! Scott and I are , together, implementing a new start and an entirely new life based on a mutual desire to enjoy a whole new experience. Our ‘Starting Over’ is not a reaction to a particular event , we aren’t ‘Starting Over’ as a way to run away from anything, we are simply making a life choice, a very intentional move to embrace our life and create an opportunity to passionately experience life! This time , my ‘Starting Over’ experience is a ‘Proactive’ one . I’m incredibly excited to shape, and mold my new life into one that reflects who I am . I can hear the ‘Screeching tires’ and my engine is revving up! “On Your Mark!…. Get Set!….. GO!!!!

About hollycarter184

Life is Good! But it's time for a change, and more adventure! I'd like to share the whole experience of preparing then actually making a reality of expatriating, and moving to a new country. It's an exciting, and slightly scary move full of possibility . I'm looking forward to learning a new language and making new connections with the people who share our spirit of adventure. This blog is my way of continuing my connection with my friends and family in the States. Sooooo here it goes! :)

6 responses »

  1. You have certainly found your voice, I love the way you take us on a wonderful journey with you. Thanks for taking up the pen or more correctly the keyboard.

    • Yes, we are in the South Bay, Los Altos, Palo Alto area. It’s about 2 1/2 hours from Santa Rosa. It would be so great to meet you if it works out. How long will you be here? As a matter of fact we are heading that way this weekend, going to visit a friend near Clear Lake. Are you originally from this area?

      • I’m from NY, never lived in CA, never even visited until my daughter moved there. I love the area though! I’ll come in on a Thursday eve, leave on Sun night or Mon morning to go to Vegas where I plan to explore the southwest, southern Utah, things I’ve never seen before (how exciting!) After a few days exploring I’ll head to TX the following weekend to visit my other daughter. Which weekends these are should be confirmed in a week or two. It would be so fun if we could meet πŸ™‚

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