If you just can’t stand hearing a mother bragging about her child, then you should stop reading right about now…. Im feeling rather gushy about my daughter at the moment. She has been living with us for the last six months and the other day, ( Friday,2/1/13) she moved out. Sigh! I never thought I would feel the pangs of an ,’Empty Nester’, but here I am feeling kinda weepy about my baby moving out on her own. After suffering through an extremely trying ( to put it mildly ) adolescence, I have found that I was actually ENJOYING her presence here in my house! I keep mentioning how much she has morphed into a beautiful, responsible, ambitious, smart, caring, generous, young women, and ,Wow, I gotta say ,” I really like being around her”! Im not surprised, I’m Just sayin’!
After having missed out on so many of the milestones I witnessed all the other mothers going through with their daughters, like prom dates, getting a drivers license, graduation, and then applying to colleges,(just to name a few) . Im finally experiencing a milestone for myself, that bittersweet feeling of watching her move out on her own. She has been living on her own for about two years but this time feels different because up until now, I have been subsidizing her rent and helping her as much as I could but this time its all hers. This time she is not expecting any help and she is confident in her ability to provide for herself. She left my house about six years ago under very negative, painful circumstances and now all these years later she is launching herself under much more positive, even happy circumstances! She is on “her” path. Creating her own life and I couldn’t be more thrilled for her. I do believe she is officially Launched! We had peaceful liftoff and are pleased to watch her sail off into the wild blue yonder…. oh boy, now I’ve gone too far! Yikes! Anyways….. I was saying…..
My sweet girl has really “found: herself . She may have traveled down a scary , difficult path but for whatever reason, its been the path she needed to take to get to where she is now. Where she is now is very impressive for her age. She has completed her vocational training, studying hard to take her state board exam (it will be about 3 months before she gets a date to take her test), working six nights a week as a server at a restaurant to support herself. While she studies for her state board exam she has prepared a resume so that she can find a job in a hair salon as a receptionist . In the state of California she can’t get a job as a stylist until she passes her test so just getting herself established in a salon will be a great start. The restaurant job will support her while she builds her career as a stylist. To balance this all off she has discovered a new hobby, indoor rock climbing. She’s developing new friendships and learning a really healthy sport. She’s joined a rock climbing gym and is enjoying the challenge and the thrill of learning a new skill. Now to top it all off she has moved into a house with three other young women and is totally and truly an independent, self supporting women , well on her way to a life she will be proud of.
I know our leaving to live in Panama is very sad for Mariah but the good news is that It’s creating a situation where she has to rely on herself and It looks to me like she’s already grabbing the horse by the reigns. She’s been nothing but incredibly supportive about our desire for the change that we have chosen to embark upon. While she’s been living with us we’ve had opportunities for healing, heartfelt conversations about all we’ve been through together. She’s been able to express her deepest remorse for the hard times. I have,of course forgiven her! It felt great to have the time together to heal and to reestablish our deepest love for one another. I think we both really needed those few precious months together. For me, seeing her in such a healthy, productive, happy place just as I”m about to move away has been indescribably important. Im not sure I could have actually made this move without having seen that she is ok! And believe me, Mariah is ‘more’ than ok! She , as I keep saying , is sooooooo Amazing! Have I gushed enough? Im sure I will publish more posts such as this where I bore you all with my utterly joyous pronouncements of my daughters successes! She is a beautiful blossoming flower , and my pride and joy! I know, annoying , huh? Oh, Well! Didn’t I tell you to stop reading a long, long time ago! Jeeze! Its all part of the Big Adventure!
I am often asked how Mariah feels about me and Scott leaving to live in Panama. The answer is, she is very mixed about it. While she understands and supports our desire to have a different, more simple, less materialistic, less expensive, more relaxing life , a life where we can have more time and energy to spend with each other and with people we enjoy as well as find a way to contribute to the community where we call home. All while having a great adventure! This all makes perfect sense to her , but at the same time knowing that we are so far away makes her pretty nervous . It will be much different than what she is used to but she knows she will adjust and that we have lots of different ways to connect including Skype, Facetime, texting and the good ol’ fashioned telephone calls. Truth be told, our day to day lives don’t exactly merge too much anyways, she’s got a busy, full life and the natural progression of life often see’s parents and children creating their own separate lives . We may be geographically distant but I have a feeling we will never feel emotionally distant. Parents and their children share a bond that distance can never break! In the big picture all we want for each other is to see one another happy healthy and safe. And just knowing that we can pick up a phone or computer and chat when we need to is insanely comforting. Her adventure is also just beginning and Im enjoying seeing it blossom into whatever she decides it should be. Life is good! Cheers!