Missing my girl…

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Staying connected is so important…

I just got off the phone with my Hija, (daughter). Sigh…I miss her ๐Ÿ˜ฆ The other day, when I was walking out of my spanish class I received a text message from her , it said, “I really, really miss you!” Again…Sigh. Many people have asked me how my daughter feels about my moving to Panama and I always tell them ,the truth is that she’s fiercely independent and very supportive of my relocation to Panama. It’s very true that my daughter has never been especially clingy or needy. Since she was very very young she’s wanted nothing more than to live her life her way and on her terms. This made her adolescent years extremely painful for us both. Now that she’s been on her own and has tasted the reality of the independent life that she always fought so hard to embrace , she has begun to appreciate her old mom. It’s a new sensation, to have my sweet daughter miss me so. While part of me feels happy to hear that she thinks about me and wishes I were nearby, there is another part of me, that realizes that if I were nearby we would likely spend very little time together. This is not an uncommon reality in the normal mother-daughter relationship. The natural progression with parents and children is for the child to move on and live their life. In our case , instead of the child moving on to start her life, the parents left the kid to start their new life. I know for a fact that Mariah is a very busy young lady, working two jobs and trying to balance that with having a social life at the same time. Really, she has very little time on her plate to spend time with her mom. While we both realize the reality of that fact, there’s just something different about being so far away. We don’t have the convenience of just hoping in the car and driving to see each other. Yes, we can FaceTime, Skype and talk on the phone, but it never replaces a hug or doing a little retail therapy together. This is one of the hard things about this big Adventure I’m having. Missing Mariah often hurts my heart. When those times sneak up on me I have to remind myself that she’s on her path and I’m on mine. Although we are far away from each other, modern technology can really help us to stay connected. Last time we spoke we promised each other that we would talk once a week. I think just connecting like that on a regular basis may help us to feel better about the physical distance. Many of my new expat friends here in Boquete have grown children back in the States as well, and I always ask them how that is for them. Without exception they all say they talk to them often on Magic Jack or on Skype or FaceTime. Some have said that they connect to their kids more this way then they ever did when they lived nearby. It just doesn’t seem to matter where we choose to make our home, life gets busy and everyone has to make an effort to stay connected. So when those moments of heartache sneak up on me I just try to remember that missing my daughter is not necessarily a bad thing. Even when I lived close to her I had the same moments of missing her except it was a tiny bit more of a bummer because she was so close and yet we still couldn’t manage to make time for each other. Again, I remind myself over and over again…..this is the natural progression of the child/parent relationship. And we know we did a good job raising our children when they are independent, self sufficient, and living their life their way. We all have a path and aren’t we all fortunate to have the ability to follow our path and live our lives our way. I know my mom is reading this and saying to herself,”HUH! Now you know how I feel!” LOL!

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About hollycarter184

Life is Good! But it's time for a change, and more adventure! I'd like to share the whole experience of preparing then actually making a reality of expatriating, and moving to a new country. It's an exciting, and slightly scary move full of possibility . I'm looking forward to learning a new language and making new connections with the people who share our spirit of adventure. This blog is my way of continuing my connection with my friends and family in the States. Sooooo here it goes! :)

3 responses »

  1. You’re right Holly, it is hard. Raising girls was a battle for me too. My oldest daughter, Sally – 30, lives in Iowa and has a daughter, Harper, who turns 1 on Nov 29th. These days Sal insists that we FT every week and calls or texts me several times a week with baby questions. But our relationship was very rocky from 13 – 20. Now she relies not only on my mom experience, but on my professional experience as a Neonatal/Pediatric Flight Nurse with baby questions. My youngest daughter, Nicole – 27, lives in Georgia and has always been a challenge. I’ve found when I let her come to me, life runs smoother. Funny thing is, she always calls when she is in need. That is a painful reality that I doubt will ever change. By’s daughter, Amanda – 37, lives in Austin and has a son, Henry who is a kindergartener and will be 6 January 19th. We say we have 3 daughters because we, like you, married in 2000 (March 29). Which we celebrate monthly — so 187 months ;-]
    BTW, I think your daughter’s name is pretty cool!

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