Losing a pet, it’s hard to be my positive self…

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Life….sigh….it’s times like this when I’m in the midst of the end of a living creatures life that I can only sit with it, ( literally ) and consider what it means to me. Our poor little kitty lasted through the night. When we went to bed, I laid him at the foot of our bed where he always loved to sleep, for the last night together. I decided I would call the vet around 8:00 in the morning to see if I could bring him there to have him euthanized….Gulp. He was no longer able to walk, use the litter box and was not eating or drinking anymore. Witnessing the decline of an animal who you’ve lived with and cared for for 14 years is agonizing. An experience I have not had until now. After calling the vet and hearing her say, “Ahora”, (now) I felt a rush of relief to end his suffering and quickly loaded him into his crate to do what I felt was the most humane thing to do for him.

Fast forward, because I will save you the details of the visit to the vet. Although, I must tell you about a little puppy that I had seen on Monday when I was there. This puppy was so sick, near death on Monday. He was hooked up to an IV, laying in the crate, motionless, and the vet did not have high hopes for him. This morning when I showed up, that same Siberian Husky puppy was running around the yard looking as chipper as could be. He ran right up to me and stood right by my legs during the procedure making me smile every time I looked down at his adorable , happy face. What a little angel, I really needed that puppy and he somehow seemed to know that. Sigh. And one more thing..the vet did not want to charge me…so sweet! I of course insisted and gave her $20.00. She was gentle, caring and very professional.

Entonce (then), I called Scott and told him I was on my way up to the property. We had decided we would bury our sweet kitty in a peaceful spot up on our property so he’ll always be with us. Here’s where I fall in love with my husband even more than I ever thought I could. When I got up there I saw Scott grab a shovel and wait for me to get out of the car. We walked to the spot, a lovely, peaceful , shady spot that is the point where two peaceful creeks meet, under a bunch of trees. He began to dig the grave as I stood there, tears slowly falling down my face. As the hole began to get deeper I looked at Scott and he had tears falling down his face as he was digging….Sigh, Oh how I adore that man! We buried Midnight with much love and will always remember him with fondess. Even though he sometimes liked to bite us and often scratched things that we specifically asked him not to scratch, and don’t even get me started about how unfriendly he was when we had company over, he really only liked me and Scott,(Shrug, the cat had good taste, what can I say!)….And Pat will remember how much he liked to sit on the couch with her when she lived with us. Midnight just loved to torment Molly the dog and jump out at her when she least expected it. We lovingly called him our “Face-kitty” because he just loved to nuzzle up to our face and to be kissed right on his forehead and don’t’ even get me started about how much that silly cat loved my hair, while I was sleeping! Uggggg! Yes, he will be in our memories forevermore. We miss him already and so does Copper, his brother. Having a pet is a huge responsibility as well as a great honor. Animals love us unconditionally and with such abandon they add such joy and fullness to our lives. I’m so glad to have been blessed to have loved Midnight in spite of having also had to feel the painful sting of losing him. It’s hard, but it’s also a good time to celebrate my lovely pet who lived with us and who gave us so much pleasure and made our house feel like home.

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21 responses »

  1. Oh Holly, so very sorry for your loss of a beloved pet. We had a dachshund for the same amount of time–14 years, she seemed to have the same kind of symptoms that Midnight had. We, too, had to put her down. Very, very sad for all of us—-but the sweet memories are still with us regarding our fun and noisy Schatzie. I know you have fun (and some not so fun) memories as well. Thinking of you today—-

  2. Our pets become part of our family and it’s never easy to see one go over the Rainbow Bridge. I’ve found that this poem has helped me many times to know that there is no more pain.
    Sending you a hug on your loss,
    KA

    A Pet’s Prayer

    If it should be, that I grow frail and weak,
    And pain should keep me from my sleep,
    Then you must do what must be done
    For this, the last battle, can’t be won.

    You will be sad, I understand.
    Don’t let your grief then stay your hand,
    For this day, more than the rest,
    Your love and friendship stand the test.

    We’ve had so many happy years
    What is to come can hold no fears.
    You’d not want me to suffer, so,
    When the time comes, please let me go.

    Take me where my needs they’ll tend only,
    Stay with me to the end,
    And hold me firm and speak to me,
    Until my eyes no longer see.

    I know in time you will see
    It is a kindness you do to me
    Although my tail its last has waved
    From pain and suffering I’ve been saved.

    Don’t grieve it should be you,
    Who decides this thing to do,
    We’ve been so close, we two, these years
    Don’t let your heart hold any tears.

    Smile – for we walked together,
    For a little while.

  3. So sorry for your Loss Holly & Scott. Midnight must have been a fantastic cat to have given you guys such joy. Penny and I know how you feel except we had two kitties that lived 19 years each. We really mourned their loss and know just what you are going thru. You are doing the right thing – remembering all the wonderful times you had with him. The pain will subside in the years to come. God Bless and hang in there. Love – Jerry and Penny

  4. So sorry for your loss…I know what that feels like, I have had to put two dogs down to stop their pain, it is the hardest thing I have had to do. What a nice thing to do to bury him at your property.
    Know that you did the right thing for Midnight, will be thinking of you…sounds like your husband Scott has a gentle soul…

  5. Holly — Wow!! This brought tears to our eyes as we read of your love for Midnight. Every pet owner can relate to the large hole it leaves in our heart when we lose a dear friend. Blessings to you both.

  6. Oh Holly I am so sorry. We need to be thankful for the wonderful years they gave us and hopefully we gave them. Just when I thought I had cried all my tears for Ginger……

  7. Sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. We lost one of our family kitties last May from a really bad cancer and he was almost 12. We also had to decide to put him to sleep to end his pain. His buddy cried that sad meow for weeks and weeks. We all missed him. So hugs to you both. I really love how you kept him near and brought him to your new home. Very special. Thank you for sharing your special moment…

  8. Holly and Scott,
    So sorry to hear about Midnight. You guys were so positive about taking care of your pets and bringing them with you on your adventure. Most would not do that. We lost our Jack Russell Jenny, of 16 years about a month ago. A friend sent me a short message. Pets leave paw prints in our hearts.
    So true, love your blog, Sue Nesmith

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