Father’s Day….Sigh…


It’s been some time since I’ve celebrated Father’s Day. My Dad’s been gone for twenty years. He left us way too soon, he was only 47 years old. My age, give or take, sigh. I was 28 when you left Dad. You meant the world to me. Because you came into my life when I was about 4 or five years old some would label you as my “step-Dad”, but I beg to differ. You were my Dad. The only Dad I ever wanted or needed. I can remember when my mom brought you to meet me and Rora. I remember sitting on your lap and I remember you doing a trick where you took off your thumb. You adored me from the very start, and the feeling was mutual. You loved being a father. I always felt loved, adored, cared about and safe with you around. You gave me advice, you were very protective of me, you punished me when I needed to be punished and you rewarded me when I made you proud. And you were always so proud of us. You deserved that pride. You taught me so much. You taught me manners, how to behave in a fancy restaurant, honesty, integrity, you taught me how to embrace my creativity. I watched you express your creativity all the time. You loved to decorated the house, you were always redecorating something. Making valances for the windows or wallpapering or rearranging furniture. I remember you surprising me with a newly decorated bedroom when I was about 10 or 12, new furniture and drapes with a matching comforter on the bed. I remember when Rora wanted a canopy bed and you surprised her with that. You loved surprising us. You loved seeing us happy and you especially loved spoiling us (me, Rora and Mom) rotten. You taught me to be generous and kind and to express my love and to always always laugh. I think the single most “stand out” thing that everyone who knew you will never forget is your sense of humor! No one, and I mean No one ever got more satisfaction from embarrassing people and making people laugh! You never ever tired of finding the humor in life. I can hear that loud all encompassing chuckle! Hah! Makes me smile just to think of it! What a joker you were. I have endless memories of being embarrassed as an adolescent! And underneath all the eye rolling and yelling I did while being embarrassed….I would be smiling inside, trying like hell not to let you know that I loved it! I was so proud of you. You were so handsome and so cool and so talented and successful and you were so fun to have around. All my friends thought you were so great! Even when your antics affected them, they just couldn’t believe how funny you were. None of their dads behaved like you! You were crazy! And I was proud of you. All my girlfriends liked being at our house because you were always so fun. I miss you so much. I often think about how badly I wish you and Scott could have met. My sweet quiet man would not have known what to think of you Dad! Hah! And I don’t think Mariah would ever want you out of her sight! She loves to hear stories of how you would totally embarrass me in public. And she wishes you could have embarrassed her. Oh Dad, how I miss you and wish everyday that you were here. I would trade anything just to have you back. But life doesn’t work like that. And so, I am just grateful to have had you as my Dad! You came into my life when I needed you most and embraced me with love and adoration and cherished me and made me feel loved. And I hope you felt my love right back. One thing that I know to be true, even now in my life, Family is not defined by blood but simply by love and love was the most precious gift you ever gave to me. You stood by my side during some of the most crucial times and guided and directed me while offering support and unending devotion. I may not be able to spend the day with you Dad, but just writing these words makes me feel as though I’ve celebrated Father’s Day and given you a gift. I miss you everyday but I know you’ll always be with me. And, I’m certain your wishing you could do something from up there to embarrass me! Hah! Happy Father’s Day Dad……..

About hollycarter184

Life is Good! But it's time for a change, and more adventure! I'd like to share the whole experience of preparing then actually making a reality of expatriating, and moving to a new country. It's an exciting, and slightly scary move full of possibility . I'm looking forward to learning a new language and making new connections with the people who share our spirit of adventure. This blog is my way of continuing my connection with my friends and family in the States. Sooooo here it goes! :)

11 responses »

  1. Holly , what a beautiful tribute to an amazing man! One of my many happy ( embarrassing ) memories was when we were bringing two young men home to meet your parents and your Dad greeted us at the door wearing only a speedo and a bow tie, the dog was also sporting the same outfit!
    You honor his memory today, he loved you and Rora so much.

  2. Beautiful. My dad passed ten years ago, and it seems like yesterday he was right here. Everyone LOVED him. I miss my parents everyday, but they sure are getting a kick out of what the heck we have gotten ourselves into along with your dad, huh?! My dad LOVED Panama!

  3. Holly, what a beautiful tribute to your larger than life dad…I also lost my dad way to soon he was only 57 when he left this earth. Like you, I miss him every day. He was a very kind and gentle man, and in his eyes I could do no wrong, I was the “Apple of his eye”, his grandchildren also loved him very much.


  4. Ah shucks, Holly, you made cry. And Happy Father’s Day to Scott who also deserves a special step-father award.

  5. Oh, Holly! Your sweet story brought tears to my eyes! I lost my own father far too soon – I was all of 19 when he had to go. And today is the first Father’s Day that Karin, Kendra and the grandkids have been without Patrick. All the more reason I’ve appreciated your lovely post. Thank you!

  6. Hi, Holly-Berry …..What a moving and beautiful tribute to Mikel. These years later I, like you, still have that huge and searing empty space in my heart which is ever present. Rarely a day passes that I don*t think about him. Reading your tribute brought both smiles and a rush of tears. Thank you for articulating those wonderful memories of the man we adored and loved.
    Mega hugs, sweetie !

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